Washington DC – In a stunning move today, Ingrid Newkirk, the head of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has stood on the steps of Capitol Hill and called for the impeachment of President Obama.

“Bacteria are animals, too! They’re not ours to kill and obliviate! Our scientists have been able to discern the sound of streptococcus bacteria ’screaming’ in a petri dish when exposed to pennicillium spores.” She then wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.

If you lick your doggie's heiney daily, you can keep your streptococcus friends happy for years! Not to mention the dog.

This comes on the heels of the recent Swatgate fiasco, where President Obama swatted a fly who interrupted him during an interview, before proceeding to have the fly’s limbs and wings torn off by CIA operatives. Oh and he waterboarded it, too.

Malia Obama came down with an inner ear infection two days later, and was prescribed a seven day penicillin regimen.

“My ear hurt really bad, and every time I coughed it made my head ache,” was Malia’s response when asked for her thoughs on the issue.

“This murderer has killed enough innocent animals, now just for a little girl’s comfort he’s going to kill MILLIONS more!” blubbered Ms. Newkirk. “Impeach now!”

When asked for a comment, we’re pretty sure we heard Mr. Obama reply, “That bitch crazy.”

Indeed.